90 Minutes in 300 Pages: Godzilla x Kong: New Empire

Article by Ed O.

Welcome back to “90 Minutes in 300 Pages” where one guy with an attention span too short to watch a movie reads it instead.  We’re continuing our Godzilla Celebration Month!

After the fiasco of Godzilla ’98 it was assumed that any dreams of an American Godzilla franchise died harder than Mothra.  It was critically panned and fans hated it.  There was no chance for a sequel (though a pretty decent Saturday morning cartoon came out of it).

The final nail in the coffin was that Toho brought Godzilla back to life.  The Big Guy had died of radioactive heartburn during Godzilla vs. Destroyah in a rather poignant send off to the entire franchise back in 1995.  With the failure of Godzilla ’98 Toho rebooted the entire series with a new Godzilla in a new timeline, Godzilla 2000.  Not based on the book that I reviewed last week, but its own story about a father and daughter duo living the life of Godzilla chasers (think tornado chasers with less common sense).  

I was excited for the chance to see a true Godzilla movie on the big screen!  This Godzilla had a new design with wavy back spikes, a brighter green color, and his radioactive breath looked different!  I remember going to my local AMC ready to watch a man in a rubber suit beat up cardboard boxes.

It was… fine.  Just fine.  The story dragged, the dubbing was ludicrous (a JSDF general says, “This missile will go through Godzilla like crap through a goose.”), and the evil alien was just bland.  But yeah, there wasn’t a pile of fish in sight!  

This led to resurgence in Japanese Godzilla movies now dubbed the Millennium era.  They were all individual stories (besides the Mechagodzilla Duology) with no previous understanding of Godzilla required.  Uncut, subbed versions of the Showa and Heisei movies were released on DVD.  Over the next fifteen years, things were going pretty well.

Then dark rumors began to surface.  An American studio was once again trying to make their own Godzilla.  The fandom was cynical at its prospects.  Another CGI kaiju?  Merchandizing cash grab?  Would this Zilla knockoff even be worth hate watching?  

I was in grad school when Godzilla 2014 came out.  I waited in line to see it, but even as I sat in movie seat I was prepared to hate it.  It started okay, there was some action and the human characters were built up nicely.  The acting was decent and it was well shot.  The monster design was iffy, but not terrible.

Then Godzilla showed up.  His look was amazing, but grounded.  He moved like a giant monster.  He had personality.   Then he breathed radioactive blue fire and I screamed like a fangirl at a One Direction concert.  This Godzilla was perfect.

To my shock they started to build up a universe around him.  They added in Kong.  Mothra and Rodan showed up as well as King Ghidorah. There were in-jokes and Easter eggs for the fans.The movies moved into almost a Showa era cheesiness that I loved.   Godzilla was a monster, and a force of nature, and a hero.  Were they perfect?  No.  Were they fun?  Oh yeah!

And even better?  They all had novelizations!  I know, that sounds a little dumb, but movie novelizations are a dying art form.  Most blockbusters just don’t have them anymore.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe only has the first few Iron Man movies and Hulk movie, for example.  Yet, every Monsterverse (yeah, that’s what they dubbed the universe and no I’m not a fan of the name) received one.  Even better?  Three of the novels were written by the same guy, so there’s actually continuity!(maybe, probably, we can hope)

What better way to end our Godzilla celebration than looking at the newest American Godzilla novelization?  We’re going to review Godzilla x Kong: New Empire by Gregory Keyes based on the screen play by Terry Rossio and Simon Barrett and Jeremy Slater.  It was released in 2024 and published by Titan Books.

So what’s it about?

We begin in Greenland where we meet a character that won’t show up again, so I’m not going to bother you with their name.  This superfluous character is approached by some Monarch representatives who ask about their research.  It turns out that there’s a layer in the ice that shows that the planet was flash frozen.  Around the world core samples show this phenomenon, but no one is willing to risk their scientific careers to say anything.  What could this mean?  Since this movie stars a giant radioactive lizard, I’m going to give you three guesses and the first two don’t count.

We jump forward in time to Godzilla getting cranky.  The giant spider-crab-thing named Scylla is wreaking havoc and woke up Godzilla from his nap.  Things are about to go down!  

First, though, we have to deal with the boring humans.  We meet our diminutive protagonists of Dr. Andrews and her adopted, deaf, Iwi daughter, Jia.  Dr. Andrews is basically Monarch PR at this point describing how the giant monsters are just wanting to live in harmony with us.  Godzilla has them under control.  Jia is dealing with the fact that school sucks, kids are mean, and she’s feeling depressed.  In other words, she’s a teenager.

At this point I need to let you know that we will be cutting back and forth between the giant monster action to the Monarch base in Barbados.  There the boss is Director Hampton.  This will also be the last time I mention her.  Why?  Because she serves as the color commentator for giant monster fights.  If I’m recounting the absurdity of WWE’s Royal Rumble, I’m not going to tell you every lame joke that Larry “The King” Lawler” makes.  Just assume Director Hampton is there during every monster fight saying, “By Mothra, that ape had a family!”  

Back to the important stuff:  Godzilla and Scylla fight in Rome!  It’s awesome and shows just how freaking powerful Godzilla is.  With the crab boil done, Godizlla curls up in the Colosseum in the cutest way possible.  If he fits, he sits!  He’s like a kitty!

We then cut to the Hollow Earth where Kong is just not having a good time.  He’s being chased by a pack of monsters that will most likely be able to overwhelm him and kill him.  Thankfully, he is smart and lays a trap.  It is established that Kong has a big sad at the moment.  He feels all alone.  He doesn't’ have a pack or a family to call his own.  His searches for apes like himself only reveal skeletons and artifacts.  He’s starting to believe he’s the last of his kind.

And to make everything worse?  He’s got a toothache!  

Up on the surface, Jia is having a bad time.  She’s having trouble in school.  She feels the pressure of being the last Iwi, so she is a culture unto herself (the story parallels between herself and Kong are as subtle as a steel chair to the head).  Plus she’s having weird visions/dreams.

During a test, she draws a trianglur shape while spacing out.  Her mom, Dr. Andrews, comes in and they have a really pleasant heart-to-heart.  The relationship between Andrews and Jia is honestly really well done.  You get the stress of Andrews trying to raise an adoptive daughter who is deaf and really going through some stuff.  You get her fear that she’s messing up and the love that drives her to do better.  This is supposed to be a “giant monster suplex each other” movie, who let the “touching mother-daughter” movie in here?

Andrews looks at the doodle Jia made on her test and realizes that it is similar to something that the Hollow Earth team recorded.  For reasons unknown except the actor was contractually obligated to be in two Monsterverse movies, that means Andrews goes to Bernie, the Titan Truther, for help.  Say hello to the comic relief character that is here to scream, be dumb, and have some poignant moment at the climax… yay…

Kong goes up to the surface.  Yes, that might tick Godzilla off, but like, his tooth really hurts!  Here we’re introduced to the best character:  Cousin Matthew!  The prim and proper British gentleman obviously faked his death, fled his responsibilities at Downton Abbey, changed his name to Trapper, and has become a kaiju dentist.  Yes, apparently there’s enough call for there to be kaiju dentists.

Seriously though, Trapper is that stereotypical “cool character.”  He wears sunglasses and listens to rock ‘n roll.  He is an adrenaline junkie who loves his job.  Every line of his is some zen wisdom.  The entire character is cheesy goodness.  Plus, he has a history with Dr. Andrews, but his story arc isn’t about getting in her pants!  

Trapper dives into Kong’s mouth and does some dentistry.  Kong gets a brand new metal tooth and has a nice moment with Jia.  Dr. Andrews and Bernie convince Hampton to send them into the Hollow Earth and look for the signal that Jia is hearing.

Meanwhile, Godzilla wakes up in Rome and is on the move.  He attacks France and feasts on a nuclear power plant.  Then he starts swimming to the lair of Tiamat.  The novelization stretches this entire storyline out forever, with quick cuts to Hampton asking “Where is Godzilla going?” every chapter.  I decided to save you the suspense.  You’re welcome.  

There is a discussion that Tiamat has a lot of energy, but also has been following Godzilla’s orders, so he shouldn’t be going after her.  Too bad!  Godzilla eats Tiamat and takes another nap.  Just like a kitty!  The people at Monarch are speculating he’s preparing for a fight.

Back in Hollow Earth Kong finally meets more apes like himself!  Only they’re complete jerks!  He takes them out because he’s the hero of this story, and gets the youngest, named Suko, to take him to their leader.  

Childlike kaijus do not have a good history.  Godzilla has had several from the OG Minya who blew smoke rings and sounded as derpy as he looked.  Then there was Little Godzilla that looked like a green Pilsbury Doughman.  Who could forget Godzooky?  Thankfully, Suko is better…  Not by much though.  At least the book really does a good job of showing his thoughts and fleshing him out as a character.  He’s not just “annoying child-like character to appeal to the youth” but “annoying child-like character with daddy issues to appeal to the youth!”

The human heroes fly down to the Hollow Earth to discover that Monarch’s outpost has been destroyed.  A large red hand print was left and recordings show apes attacking.  They fly a bit more, go for a hike, and discover a hidden valley.  Instead of ranch, all they find there are Iwi.  

Jia and crew discover that the Iwi have been waiting for an Iwi from Skull Island to come and awaken Mothra.  They also learn that there’s an evil orangutan that once tried to destroy the world, but Godzilla fought them off and imprisoned them.  There’s also a giant ice lizard out there somewhere that can cause an ice age.  

Kong of course, gets to meet that evil orangutan, the Skar King.  They fight, but Skar King cheats by calling out the ice lizard, named Shimo, that he has enslaved due to a glowy rock.  Kong gets his butt kicked and him and Suko run for it.  

Kong and Suko discover the Iwi, apparently the hidden valley allows protagonists to ignore the protection spells.  The humans go and get Kong a power glove (“it’s so bad!”), and Kong realizes he needs help.  He goes up to the surface and calls for Godzilla.

Godzilla awakens from his nap, and is cranky.  He swims to Cairo ready to kick Kong’s butt.  What happens next is a comedy of errors as Kong is trying to explain he just wants Godzilla’s help, but Godzilla is taking it (Kong’s existence) personally.  They destroy the Pyramids of Giza and sadly Mothra shows up with Jia to make the two Titans play nice.

Godzilla and Kong go to the Hollow Earth in the team-up of the century.  To quote the Godzilla 2000 tagline, “Let’s get ready to CRUMMMMMBLE!!!”  I’m not going to give a blow-by-blow recap of the final rumble, so I’ll give a brief summary.  Fire lizard fights ice lizard.  Ape fights ape.  They fly.  They go to Brazil and destroy Rio.  Skar King gets killed ala Sub-Zero’s Fatality.  Everyone lives happily ever after.

It is awesome!

The Good:

Umm… The entire book?  It was a fun ride from start to finish.  I actually read it in two sittings, which quite an achievement for my ADHD self.  The action is well written, the fights scenes are described in such a way that makes sense, the characters are fleshed out, and the story is fun.

Keyes takes a cheesy and nonsensical plot and turns into an engaging story.  He allows the humans to have meaningful interactions with each other.  He plays up the parallel story arcs of Kong and Jia looking for a home perfectly.  Keyes is a competent author.

The Bad:

Did we need to bring Bernie back?  The character just isn’t funny, he adds nothing to plot, and he’s annoying.  I don’t want a character who is just there  to spout unhinged conspiracy theories about Atlantis and ancient aliens, I have Reddit for that.  We didn’t need him as a through line between this movie and Godzilla vs Kong since Dr. Ilene Andrews was already in both.  He just felt superfluous.  

Side note, my Bernie hate goes even further for the movie.  Why?  Because Brian Tyree Henry is the best actor in the movie and he’s stuck playing a complete idiot.

The Ugly:

Hey, there’s really nothing abhorrent here.  The main human character, Dr. Ilene Andrews, is treated with respect and has her character NOT revolve around a love interest.  Her relationship with her daughter is well handled.  

The Iwi people are handled as well as a fictional people can be.  They might fulfill the stereotype of Noble Savage, but they aren’t shown as being wiser or better than the people of the surface.  They are just different and have technology we don’t, just as we have technology they don’t.  

Which makes me wonder what I will think of it in twenty years or so?  As we make progress as society, what will we recognize as actually not okay?  Eh, that’s future Book Kaiju’s problem.  

The Different:

The main difference is the handling of the Titans, especially Shimo, the ice lizard.  The added prologue sets up the mysterious, hypothetical Titan that can cause an ice age in an instant.  There are epigraphs before each chapter that hints at Shimo’s existence as Monarch is piecing together various myths and legends.  There’s even the added bit that Shimo was the one that encased King Ghidorah in ice.  

Then there’s Skar King that is portrayed as a fully on sadistic nihilist.  He wants to cause pain, but more importantly he wants to destroy everything.  He wants to not conqueror the world, just make it suffer.  Why?  Because he’s a jerk.  While I usually prefer my villains to have nuance and complex reasons for what they do, here it works.  He’s an evil, giant orangutan, nuff said.

The best is seeing Suko and Kong interact and their thoughts.  This book really rescued Suko from the “terrible childlike kaiju” pile.  Keyes does a wonderful job of showing how traumatized and complex Suko is.  His interactions with Kong become more and more heartwarming as they bond and Suko realizes what kindness looks like.  It’s enough to bring a tear to your eye.

If you love Godzilla movies, then give this a look.  It’s dumb fun without verging into stupid.   It doesn’t have the seriousness of a Heisei movie, but that’s by design, I feel.  The American Godzilla series has moved into its Showa era and that means giant monsters punching each other.  Thankfully, Godzilla x Kong: New Empire keeps the goofy cheesy fun, but adds depth to its story that makes you actually care about the characters.

This ends our Godzilla month at Kaiju & Gnome.  I hope you had fun reflecting on the Big Guy’s book appearances.  Join me next time as I look at the best Christmas movie of all time Gremilins!

Want to tell me your favorite Godzilla movie?  What did you think about Shimo’s design?  Is Gamera worth the effort to watch?  Share your opinions with us over on Bluesky!