Climbing Mount TBR: Locke Lamora and the Bottled Serpent
Review by Ed O.
Welcome back to Climbing Mount TBR where I, your humble Book Kaiju, struggle to climb to the top of my “to read” pile one book at a time. This time we’re looking at not a novel, but a short story (a pebble off Mount TBR). “Locke Lamora and the Bottled Serpent” by Scott Lynch. Published in two parts in Grimdark Magazine Issues 40 & 41.
I’m going to be upfront; I came to this story biased. I love Scott Lynch’s works. The Lies of Locke Lamora deserves to be on the list of “Best Fantasy Stories of All Time.” I will fight anyone who disagrees with me. Nerf guns at dawn. I’ll see you in the Denny’s parking lot.
I think Red Seas Under Red Skies and The Republic of Thieves are great follow ups. The guy has a way with punchy dialogue and witty characters. Obviously, I preordered the fourth novel, The Thorn of Emberlain.
Except it was delayed … And again… And it just never came out. Scott Lynch seemingly disappeared from the con circuit and stopped doing interviews.
Unfinished series are nothing new to sci-fi/fantasy fans. The genre graveyard is filled with half finished series that ended too soon due “publisher bankruptcy,” “contract dispute,” “author death,” or “severe writer’s block.” It’s the nature of the industry. It happens. We fans always handle it with the proper responses: denial, toxicity, and crazy conspiracy theories. If you need an example, just put on a hazmat suit and wade into any discussion centered around George R.R. Martin or Patrick Rothfuss.
Surprisingly, Lynch never seemed to receive the same amount of ire that those two did. Maybe it’s because he’s not on the same level of celebrity. My personal theory is that it’s because he was more upfront about why he stopped writing. He suffers severe anxiety and that prevents him from facing the editorial process. Fair enough, mental health issues suck. It also helped that he disappeared from the public eye, meaning that the fandom wasn’t constantly reminded of Thorn of Emberlain’s absence.
Last year, Lynch’s silence was broken. He announced that he was getting the help that he needed for his anxiety (marvelous news!) and that he has finally started to write again. Sometime soon(ish) he’s going to be releasing a series of three novellas to serve as a prelude to Thorn of Emberlain. Before those come out, however, he is dipping his toes back into the publishing game by releasing “Locke Lamora and the Bottled Serpent.”
So, what’s it about?
This short story is set during the time when Locke Lamora was learning how to be the best thief possible under master con artist Chains. The series has already established that Chains would send the Gentleman Bastards on apprenticeships to learn new skills and to practice what they already know. “Locke Lamora and the Bottled Serpent” tells when Locke’s apprenticeship was at a seedy, rundown tavern named The Unbroken Jar. What is he supposed to learn? When not to steal.
That’s right, Locke needs to make money not by conning others, not by pickpocketing, or any other fun method. He’s got to earn his money the legal way: by working in the service industry. *shudder* No wonder this is in Grimdark Magazine.
The tale follows his apprenticeship as he serves wine while hanging over a canal and slinging drinks to patrons at the bar. Specifically, it focuses on one drunk, an old sellsword named Mazoc Szaba. They build up an odd friendship as Mazoc tells stories as Locke serves drinks.
The main feature of the tavern Locke serves at is anything can be a wager. Men will randomly ask for odds against a task (to show how strange the gambling is, one patron asks for odds that he can eat a ceramic cup), and everyone will cheer as drunken idiots make fools of themselves. It’s like college all over again!
The title comes from a certain drink that is partially alcohol, but mostly rat poison. Think malört, but healthier. This terrible booze, the gambling atmosphere, a drunken sellsword, and a young thief all converge to learn a valuable lesson: Being good sucks.
Yeah, that’s kind of a central theme in Lynch’s works. Doing the right thing never benefits you, and in fact, will often cause you pain, whether emotional, physical, or financial. Yet, it’s always reinforced that while doing the right thing sucks, you still need to do it. There’s a moral imperative to help, knowing that it will still hurt.
It’s a rather grim message, but also a rather hopeful one. The world may be an unjust place, but that means people need to be more just. The world is cruel, so people need to be more kind. Be good not for a reward, but because the world needs good people in it.
Overall, I like the story. The prose is up to Lynch’s high standard. The characters are delightful as always. Coming back to the world of Locke Lamora was like putting on an old comfortable hoodie. You might not have seen it for a few seasons, but it fits perfectly..
The only problem I had was I wished it was longer. I know, I know, it’s a short story, but I had to wait months to read both halves! I’m not great at delayed gratification and I just wanted there to be more to reward the wait. Oh well, it’s all out now, so go buy those issues (the other stories in them are great too!).
I hope this short story is a sign for things to come. I’ll be keeping an eye out for those novellas and, once again, I’ll be putting in a pre-order for Thorn of Emberlain. I need more of Lynch’s work in my life.
That’s another one off the TBR pile! Only 297 to go!
That was a fun short story, but what are your thoughts? What do you think of Scott Lynch’s works and are you excited about more Locke Lamora coming soon? What’s your favorite heist novel?
Give us your answers over on Bluesky @kaijuandgnome.bsky.social!